Week 19 – ‘The Shortest Song In The World’

It feels rather strange writing this on a Wednesday with the song already in the bag… and even stranger knowing you won’t read/hear it for another 36 hours or so.  I’ve gotten used to finishing things and sharing them with you straight away (which I like because it gives me no time to question myself) but this week is different and here’s why…

Tomorrow (Thursday) I will be leaving the house.  Mental, right?!

For most people this is normal behaviour – but this will be my first Thursday in 2012 as part of the real world.  I’m going for lunch on Oxford Street, Shepherds Bush to do something exciting (news soon) and then I’m off to get really, really drunk at my friend Nicci’s book launch.

Speaking of Nicci – her first book (a proper novel, called ‘Someday Find Me‘) is out tomorrow (which is now yesterday).  I say this next bit with trepidation (incase she reads it) but I’m kind of inspired by the whole thing.  I’ve definitely never fancied the way anyone writes before.  I think it’s partly because I know her, partly because the characters in the book (Fitz, Saf, Quinn, Win and co) are ridiculously endearing and partly because every so often she drops a phrase like ‘daddlylonglegsing around’, presumably just to make me smile.

We’ve talked about doing some writing together so hopefully that’ll happen soon.  I’m not sure how it’ll work (an author and songster) but if nothing else I’ll be able to get my book signed.

Back to the world of #onesongaweek…

I haven’t been able to write much recently and time constraints were suggesting I record an old song this week – ‘Thinking Back’ or ‘Breakfast On My Own’, perhaps?  I sat down with an acoustic guitar for about an hour on Tuesday before realising that everything was flawed.  The songs were really sad and I was really happy (for once).  Time to change tact…

I walked to Sainsburys, bought a bottle of mulled wine (one does question why there’s supply and demand for festive drinks in May), trundled over to Clapham Common, sat down with an acoustic guitar… and wrote this:


The Blurb:

First things first, I know it’s not ACTUALLY the shortest song in the world.

Second things second, it’s only 56 seconds long.  I can’t make you pay for it.

Third things third, we’re 19 weeks in and everything seems to be going really well (touch wood).  I’m not dead yet and more and more of you keep coming back each week to buy the records and say nice things –  so it’s high time I said thank-you.

Thank-you for coming, this one’s on me.  Click right here and download it for free.

‘The Shortest Song In The World’ was recorded in my lounge (as per usual). Some jangly guitars, hand claps, a splash of piano and a bunch of ‘oohs’.  I hope it makes you tap your foot, smile and maybe even press play more than once.


As far as Thursday goes, that’s it.  What you’re now reading was written in the wee small hours of Friday morning (I’m seeing double after Nic’s book launch).  Two things to tell you, neither of which I knew when I wrote the above:

1) I had a little chat about #onesongaweek on BBC Radio 5 live earlier (the reason I was in Shepherds Bush).  I knew it was a pre-record but I didn’t know it would air so soon.  It went out last night (at around 1:30am) but you can hear it on the iplayer here (it starts around 50 minutes in).

2) Less than 500 words ago I said I’d finished this weeks song.  I lied.  If ever there was a song that needed bass this was it – so I’m happy to report that my old housemate (and bass virtuoso/part-time Womble) Alex Karban gave up his time while I was out drinking to fill out the low frequencies.  Thanks Alex.


Favourite Lyric:

“I don’t dream about anybody else”.

It’s true, I don’t.


In other news:

It’s been a largely positive blog full of thank-you’s so I’d like to balance the scales and send a very big ‘fuck you’ to Orange – the mobile phone company.  On Tuesday I had the displeasure of finding out they’ve stolen nearly £400 from me since December 2010.  It all started 17 or so months ago when they messed up my order and I was without internet for nearly a month – so by way of apology they sent me a mobile dongle for free to use until my broadband was connected.  Long story short the freebie wasn’t free.  Orange have charged me nearly £25 a month for said dongle ever since.  A dongle I no longer use and haven’t even seen since January 2011 when my broadband moved in.

Needless to say I ‘kicked off’ (to put it mildly) and they’ve since offered me £200 back – which I declined.  Next up is the phone call from a friendly chap called Jamie (expected Saturday) who will have spoken to the people upstairs and should have some news for me.  Fingers crossed it’s good – otherwise you’ll be reading about little else next week!